I’ve been having weird dreams this week. It’s times like this when I think that analyzing my dreams wouldn’t really tell you much about me…or maybe it’d tell you too much. I’m not sure, but I don’t think I’d want to know anyway!

Wednesday night I dreamt that I had gone to the doctor and I had to get some type of test done to find out if I had some bad cells in an area of my body (Cancer cells maybe?) so they could figure out if I needed treatment. How did they do this test? Draw some blood, then dip a needle in it, and stick the needle into what looked like a cotton candy machine. If it came out like green cotton candy, which it did, then the cells were bad. I woke up after that so I never found out what the next steps was. But the weird part was that the doctor was Kyle from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (I don’t know who would let anyone from that show operate on them! Aside from Paul, obviously, since he’s a doctor) and her assistant (who was the one doing the blood test and stuff, so maybe he was a PA or a nurse?) was the guy with the scraggly brown hair and glasses from Body of Proof…checking IMDB for his name…Geoffrey Arend.

Then the next two nights I had dreams where my grandma was alive. And, of course, that’s not completely abnormal. I mean, it was Thanksgiving and I saw my other grandparents and I miss her and in dreams sometimes people who are dead can be alive. But the weird part was that in these dreams she wasn’t just alive; she had come back from the dead! And I remember in last night’s dream I was like, “I’m so happy to see you! But how are you here?” and she was just like, “Oh, I’m feeling better now,” as if it had just been a cold she was getting over and not death that she was waking up from!

Anyway, not sure if I want to find out what tonight’s dreams will be. Or maybe I won’t have any/remember any; we’ll see!

When I was younger I subscribed to the magazine Girl’s Life and they had a penpal section at the beginning of each issue, where like 15 girls wrote a short blurb about themselves and if you wanted to be penpals with them then you’d send your letter to a certain PO Box and see if they wrote back. Then one month there was a short blurb saying that the girls were getting so many letters that they couldn’t reply to them all, so the magazine started a “cyber pals” section of their website where you could find e-mail pals. Anyway, fast forward a few months to when my Internet time was usually split between Purple Moon (do you guys remember like Rockett’s New School and stuff? That was Purple Moon stuff, but on the website it was mostly making friends and talking about whatever and taking quizzes and stuff) and the B*Witched message board (do you remember B*Witched? Irish girl group circa 1999 – only hit in the US was “C’est La Vie” and I was a big fan for a while!). I was 12 going on 13 and only just recently allowed to be on the Internet without a parent’s supervision (not that I did anything bad anyway, but my mom used to hear all those bad things about AOL chatrooms…but we didn’t even have AOL so I’m not sure why she was worried about that!). I found someone on the B*Witched board who was around my age and lived in England, and I thought England was so cool and I wanted to have a friend from there. So I e-mailed her and asked if she wanted to be cyber pals and I told her a little bit about myself. She e-mailed me back and said something about the lines of, “Ew! No! Aren’t you a girl too? And you’re only like 12!” It took me a few minutes to figure out why she would have such an adverse reaction to e-mailing a 12-year old girl when she was a 13-year old girl. I guess this was before I knew how to Google questions (did Google exist then?!) so I thought about it for a while and eventually I realized that she was thinking of something very different than I was! I really didn’t even know what cyber sex entailed, but I had heard the phrase before. And that’s how I learned what the term “cyber pals” meant to people who weren’t Girl’s Life readers! I e-mailed her back to explain that I meant something much more innocent, but I never got a reply. She probably blocked my e-mail address thinking I was some weird pervert. Not the best way to start an online friendship! Oh well. I learned not to use that phrase again!

I’m not sure whether to take this seriously or not! On the one hand compliments are nice and on the other hand this just seems a little fishy!
a) I wasn’t really hiding my blog so it’s okay that you “found” it.
b) Saying you’re “OBSESSED” with me is a little creepy.
c) Most of the guys I liked turned out to be gay, so.
d) I need a credit card to find out who likes me? = I think this is a scam!

Sorry if you’re actually some random guy who likes me and you’re trying to be nice and I’m being snarky, but I’m not into the credit card and guessing game. If you’d like to send me a non-anonymous message and say who you are then that’s cool. If not, oh well, sorry. But I think this is probably spam anyway so I don’t feel that bad!

I said I planned to post more often, but then life happened! Long story, no need to talk about it right now. But basically I spent most of the weekend semi-depressed: not sleeping well, crying, not eating well, being a giant ball of anxiety, and moping. I’m feeling a little better now though! Still stressed, but it’ll all work out eventually.

I’m thinking about getting a part-time retail job for the holiday season. I’m really not thrilled about it, but I could use the money. I don’t know if I’ll end up doing it though; we’ll see.

Any ideas on ways to make money (preferably easy ways, haha)? I submitted a writing sample to a freelance site and they have a week to review it and give me a rating and then I can bid on assignments. I’m not sure how well I’ll do, but I’d like to work on my writing skills more so it’ll be a good thing hopefully.

I’m working on some article/blog type things, but they’re mostly outlines right now and they’re hand-written so when I get time I’ll finish writing them and type them up to post.

I started using my old OKCupid account again and I’ve been e-mailing some guys who I actually like so far. Hopefully at least one of them will end up being interested and/or I’ll be interested in him! We’ll see how it goes!

I kinda got addicted to The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills yesterday, lol. The only Housewives shows I watch are Beverly Hills and New York, and even then I don’t watch consistently but I might start watching more often. Like I really needed to start watching another new show!

I’m trying to work on being thankful for what I have and stop worrying so much about the future. It’s harder than it sounds though. I always plan to write more detailed/specific blog posts and reflect on things more, but then I remember that this blog is public and I tend to stick to more shallow topics and vague references! I guess I should either work on getting past that or learn to write more about the shallow topics!

girleastlikely2:

It’s my goal in life to create a tumblr post so popular that it gets re-tumbled thousands of times. 

(via girleastlikely2-deactivated2012)

^Does anyone else know that song? I was so disappointed I didn’t hear it on the radio this year. I think I like it better than the Christmas version, haha.

I keep formulating posts in my head and then not actually writing/posting them because by the time I get to it the info isn’t so relevant anymore. I have a bunch of ideas floating around in my head to write about specific topics, but until then I’ll just write some more random stuff.

I just read that Zooey Deschanel and Ben Gibbard are getting divorced, which is kinda sad. They were such a cute couple on Twitter and they seemed really good together. I totally didn’t see this coming. Kim Kardashian’s divorce, on the other hand, I wasn’t surprised about. Kris was a jerk in every episode of the show he was in. Although, apparently he didn’t know Kim was gonna file for divorce until after she did it yesterday, which isn’t cool. If you’re getting divorced I think both people should talk about it and agree on it. I mean, obviously if someone is abusive or something then you can file without talking to that person to see if they agree, but I think Kim and Kris should’ve talked about it. I don’t know about all those rumors about it being for publicity and I don’t really care whether or not they’re true. What I do care about is the fact that E! felt it was necessary to dedicate 4 hours of their programming to her wedding less than a month ago and now the marriage is over. I can’t get those 4 hours of my life back! Two hours is acceptable, but four was just too many. I hope they remember this when it comes time for her next wedding.

I’ve been trying to use a neti pot to see if it’ll help my sinus headaches. The concept freaks me out, but if I don’t think about it then I’m okay. Like, you pour the water in one nostril and it goes through your sinus cavity and out the other nostril…that’s just weird. It’s not the most pleasant thing to do either because I usually end up getting some of the salt water down my throat and the rest of the time it feels like I did a flip underwater and forget to hold my nose. If it works then I’ll deal with it, but I’m not totally convined yet because I think the problem is swelling in my sinuses, not mucus. (There’s a commercial for something that talks about that exact problem, but I can’t remember what the commercial is for! I’ll have to see if Google can help me).

Is there seriously nothing else going on in my life besides celebrity divorces and sinus issues?!

Oh, yesterday was Halloween, which is cool. I love any excuse to dress up in a costume and I love candy so Halloween is pretty good! I like it more as an adult than I did as a child, I think.

I downloaded Mindy Kaling’s book on my Kindle earlier today and I only had about 10 minutes to read it while I was waiting for my sister to be done with her chiropractor appointment so we could go to dinner, but I love it already! I had to stop myself from laughing out loud in the waiting room.

I know I say this all the time, but I’m gonna try to be better about posting more consistently! We’ll see if I can actually do it this time!  

Here are some disappointments and excitements (is that even a word?) from my week so far:

Negatives:
- As of now I can’t go to the Steps reunion concert in England because flights are ridiculously expensive, which is disappointing because I was really getting into the nostalgia and feeling like I was 14 again, but without actually being 14 so it’s even better!

- I ordered a chicken bowl at Chipotle last night (ordered online) and then picked it up, got it home, and discovered there was no chicken! How can you have no chicken in a chicken bowl?! Luckily my dad was home and volunteered to go back for me so I could get other stuff done.

- I may have another date this weekend with the guy from two weeks ago that I wasn’t interested in. And guess what he wants to do? Go to a 3D movie! *sigh*

- There are no new episodes of New Girl until November 1st.

Positives:
- It’s not 100% sure that I can’t go to the concert (please cross your fingers that it doesn’t sell out so I have time to decide).

- I came up with an awesome idea to get money for the flight, if I decide that’s what I want to spend it on, and it won’t take any money away from my salary or savings. No matter what I decide to spend it on, it can’t hurt to have extra money.

- When my dad got back last night I had a very delicious chicken bowl for dinner!

- I wore a new cute outfit today!

- We had a 3-day weekend and a 4-day week. Every week should be that way!

- I came up with some ideas of things I want to write about.

- I got a mint chocolate chip truffle bar at Godiva the other day and it was so good!

- TV has been good this week!

I’m sure there are more of each, but these are the ones that came to mind right away.

Sidenote: I refer to guys as “dudes” more often now than I used to. I blame Marianna.

I’m watching He’s Just Not That Into You for the hundredth time because there’s nothing else on TV tonight and it made me start wondering if Gigi is actually in the better situation. Like, which is worse: a) Liking a guy and having him not call you/not seem as interested or b) Not liking a guy and having him be really interested? If you asked me a year ago I definitely would’ve said the first option, but now I’m thinking the latter isn’t all that great either. I’ve heard girls complaining that their life is hard because they have two guys interested in them and they don’t know which guy to choose and I always thought, “Boo hoo, poor you. You have two guys interested in you. What a tough life!” Now I kinda get what they were saying. I’m not saying it’s something you should complain about because it’s totally not the worst thing in life, but it’s not as glamorous as I thought it would be.Currently I have three guys who are at least somewhat interested in me. The problem? I’m not even somewhat interested in any of them. And that makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me. There are guys that I’m interested in based on their Match profiles, but they don’t seem interested in me because I’ll wink at them and never hear from there. Then the guys who are winking at me I’m not interested in. Am I expecting too much and setting the bar too high? Am I looking for guys who are way out of my league? I don’t even know what my “league” is! I could settle for dating one of these guys for a few months, but am I always gonna have to “settle” or will I eventually find a guy who I like that also likes me? And why waste my time dating them if I can tell after a few dates that my interest level isn’t going to grow and there’s just not spark? I know some girls need to have boyfriends all the time, but I’m perfectly happy being single. It would be nice to be in a relationship, but it’s not a necessity right now. So, I’d prefer to enjoy my free time rather than spending it with a guy I don’t like just so I can say I have a boyfriend (I’ve known people who do this). I think I’m gonna make the most of the last few days of my Match subscription and then once it expires I’ll take a break for a while. It’s gonna be busy with the holidays coming and everything anyway. Then in January I’ll renew it again and give it another try. Or at least that’s the plan as of now. Sometimes I worry about never finding the right guy, but then I remind myself that I’m still young and there’s time to find him. Also, at least some guys are interested and I’m not a complete dating failure anymore, so I’ll take that as a good thing and a reason to be hopeful!